🎃Happy Halloween!
It seems like the perfect time of year to talk about something truly frightening in the job search world: ghosting.
What if we just accepted that ghosting happens?
Instead of getting emotionally mowed over every time it happens.
Now let me be clear: I am not saying ghosting is okay. Ever.
But it happens to everyone. Yes, everyone.
Sometimes clients get a little testy with me when I say things like this. They say, "But you aren't job searching, this isn't happening to you."
And I get it. Job seekers are rightfully upset when you go through a 4-5 round interview process and then poof, you don't hear anything anymore.
Not a "yes," not a "no, we didn't pick you," nothing.
And it's inhumanely awful.
But don't think I don't get it and it doesn't happen to me. It does.
I'll talk to a prospective client 2-3 times. They tell me "I'm all in!" Some will even say, "I am making the payment today!"
And then, nothing.
No payment. No "hey I decided to go a different direction." Nothing.
Just no response to any outreaches by me making sure they still wanted to do this.
Entrepreneurs go through this ALL. THE. TIME.
And this is the point:
There used to be a distinct difference in an experience that a job holder had (at any level) and that business owners experience.
But in recent years, I'm noticing employeeship is getting more and more similar to entrepreneurship.
The rejection. The illogical ghosting. The irrational undulation of all types of emotions, like in the same minute sometimes.
Simply put? It's getting nuts.
So my advice to job seekers?
You are a business, now more than ever. You have to treat your career like an entrepreneurial venture.
You are a business owner of your own career path.
You have to own it and move it forward, or risk atrophy.
And since we are now "fellow business owners," I'm gonna tell you, buckle up.
The ride is wild. And you must get used to ghosting to build your resilience in this world.
How do you do this?
Here are some tips I use for building resilience to ghosting:
1. Accept it happens
It's never okay to ghost or be ghosted, but you must accept some people can't handle delivering rejection and prefer to ghost. I don't understand why, way above my pay grade. But I just accept it.
2. Why it happens is NEVER because you aren't good enough
I stopped thinking it was because I deserved the treatment. Look, it's hard to not take it personally. But when ghosting happens, it's an incredibly poor reflection of the person that did it and has NOTHING to do with you or me.
3. The universe is redirecting you to something better (or at least helped you dodge a bullet)
I am convinced I wasn't able to see a red flag or two when I'm ghosted by someone. It's the universe's way of protecting me from some bad juju when someone doesn't move forward after enthusiastically telling me they would. I encourage you to do the same mindset shift.
4. Imagine life with people ghosting
Now this may seem odd, but sit quiet with the idea that you are being ghosted. Feel the feelings. Let the shame and anger boil up and come to the surface. And then let the feelings pass. You can now see that you got past it and you are okay in the end. Repeat: you are okay. So now keep moving forward.
5. Keep your pipeline full
This is a big one. Always make sure you have other options. Factor in ghosting WILL happen and factor it into your metrics. Just assume it will happen and always have other options. When you have too few options and one of those options ghosts, it will always hit harder.
So just remember, these five points will help you triumph over ghosting like a champ. Managing your emotional response to ghosting is the key to staying sane in this spooky marketplace we find ourselves in.
Let's do it together.
To your success,
Lisa
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